try to explain why anything happens and I'll try and understand 'til the last breath we share our hearts slowly fading we're written in sand So I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused I'm sorry for all of your pain and your losses I'm sorry for all of the grief that I've caused remembering one day all of this will end and mean nothing I know someday you will be gone but I cannot help that, I cannot keep you from suffering I cannot keep you from harm I could never save you, and for that I deserve nothing try to explain why anything happens and I'll ask you this much where will our blood run if not to the floor why am I afraid of falling up

These four walls do nothing but prevent the rot from spreading I fear for the day it will end oh resolution I can't keep from shaking always anticipating one more predicament Oh, I've tried I have been I swear I've been learning of, better ways to cope with defeat but these nights are getting darker and I'm not getting any stronger it's getting harder and harder to breathe. It's all coming back to me the feeling of discontent (and disconnect) I can hear what you used to say when I really needed it. Whatever you decide to do do not give up, do not give in don't give up hope, and keep it close that's all there is that's all there is I promise to be there for you when you are alone choking on your bedsheets and struggling for warmth I want you to know that it worries me it worries me when it's hard not think about it it's hard not to think about anything at all I hope when I die, I hope I am right I hope I can stil see your face. I hope when I die, I hope I go blind I hope I still can remember your name. I hope I can remember your name I hope I can.

sleepless nights, swollen eyes wrinkled in bedsheets, still shivering when was the last time you could dream when was the last time you spoke to me of all your love and fear that you have kept inside your heart the pain you pushed aside for all of us, for everyone you love I only wish that I could do the same oh how I wish I could be brave oh how I wish I could be oh how I wish I could be brave for you and everyone I love and all the things that kept us up at night, were things that I could understand that I could mend but something takes a hold of what is left and tears it from my grip and picks away the parts of me the pieces I could give I just want to make sense of this, I want to go home I still think you're beautiful oh I'll hold my breath when you're gone, and I'll pray to god and for every counted whisper that escapes from my lungs I swear to be in love, I promise to be true for each pathetic whisper that abandons my tiny withered lungs I swear to be in love silence overwhelms these aching walls too fragile to withstand these countless nights of recollecting the days that you could breathe again our able bodies reduced to festering wounds tied to the notion that we're nothing but worthless our flesh cannot alter we'll all live forever though one day our hearts will form into ashes until then their lightness will bleed through the sun Though one day our hearts will dwindle like two wicker lanterns they will side by side though one day our skin it will shed from our limbs and our flesh from the bone and unto the earth hand in hand although we will die and our souls petrify each decision we make they will echo through time and the promises we made oh I swear they won't break approaching faster than we could ever hope to have imagined these moments so precious we'll cherish as fortunes until they are gone there is a place for us where we will rest amongst the stars tossing fragments of shattered rock upon the banks of acheron if you're afraid won't your hands pierce my hands sink your flesh to my my flesh I don't care if it hurts and if you're afraid won't you please hold us close let us give you our warmth you won't suffer alone and neither will us when our time comes in this ephemeral state we'll be gathered in love ever constant ever flowing ever encompassed ever expanding and right now I believe in night hides our anguish we suffer from sleep and right now I believe the shelter we sought for is ensnared in our dreams and right now I believe that our bodies will soon be at ease, ever in silence returning whence we came to be nothing again

Jesus Christ, why are you shaking? they've taken off your crown. you're quieter now. Jesus Christ, why aren't you sleeping? you should get some rest. or at least go to bed. I will when I'm dead. Oh, I have been trying to sleep, but my mind keeps me busy I am aware of my mistakes I am afraid of what I can't change. So I pray for the ones that I love, to a God I'm afraid of I want everything for them Father, please don't you hurt them every time I close my eyes I hope that yours will open I dread for the day I get used to your absence So scared of the silence afraid of the distance I think you deserve something much more than oblivion if there is no hell when we die I promise I'll be everything I can for the rest of my life if there is no hell when we die I will take in everything entrust, I'm so glad that we exist if only for a moment.

bleeding out, calling your name I won't forget you, I could never always, but forever feels so thin forever is the moment we were given the time that we have left I will cherish you for all of what you are for all of what this is a chance for compassion marked with every breath I take I felt it trembling through my skin and though it's rotted through my flesh I promise for resilience, we were never meant to hold my hand, no matter how far we sink and never look away no matter how far no matter how far we sink you were never meant to be no matter how far you were never meant to be afraid no matter the silence, I will be with you wherever you are though I cannot promise, I'll attempt everything to keep you from harm until the light takes us until the last drop of blood spill from your arms I will be with you I will be with you wherever you are wherever you go, I swear I will follow and if I die before you I promise to guide you somewhere closer to home oh, I wish that I knew I wish I could tell you where we will finally rest, and if we could ever say we are safe, we're at ease, we are hope, we are love I am free how long will we have to wait, 'til we can finally escape 'til we abandon our bodies left to wallow in decay and if our hearts can lead to god, why won't our bodies do the same and if our hearts can lead to anyone, or any sacred place I hope it's with you I know that it's hard, and sometimes impossible it seems but you have to get up my love, you have to get and I know that you're in pain, but there is meaning to this suffering I like to think that life has it's reasonings god is not a number, in death we are one if we ever lose the privilege to speak and our minds never wander out, and rot like the rest of our chemistry if ever we lose sight of things we sought to be possible I swear to you we'll meet again inside of the ossuary I'm glad we're alive and I'm glad that we'll die I'm glad that we me before it all ends and I will never forget, I will never forget the way that you spoke to me how comforting it was when I had nothing left to give when it was difficult to breathe when I was to sick to eat and I was terrified of sleep I will remember how terrified you were of me and how lucky I was to wake up in love to wake up at all I'm glad we'll lose sleep I'm glad we'll lose everything for in our absence we'll gleam in our absence we'll

Wandering aimlessly What do you hope for in life and when you die to look back on this day and realize you were everything you were everything in their eyes oh, here lies the father, son, and the holy ghost were buried then just like the rest of us we buried them it's not long before we bury each other, My Lover.